Being found to be a fraud, all outside landscaping equipment that I am not operating (I took a rock in the eye courtesy of an idiot with a weed-whacker when I was a kid) and losing my mind, that’s the short list of things that I’m actively afraid of. That doesn’t mean I’d box a honey-badger, chew dynamite or embrace a clown, it simply means that there are certain fears that I keep in the forefront of my mind, the rest, are more circumstantial.
When I was a kid I was deathly afraid of quicksand. I mean who wouldn’t be? I imagined that you could be on the slide one second and drowning in sand the next.. The thought still makes me shutter. What I didn’t understand was that while things like quicksand, car bombs, tar pits, lightning strikes, and spontaneous combustion (say what you want, I’ve seen the pictures) can happen, rather than worry about them, I’m better off looking both ways while you cross the street -while I was uber careful on playgrounds I got hit by a car because I wasn’t paying attention while riding my bike on my street.
This weekend I’ll be heading to my Family reunion. I don’t remember our last reunion, I’d put it at at least 20 years ago. The idea to come together came at a funeral when the point was raised that we only see each other at weddings and funerals, and we’ve been on a wedding drought for a good while. I could tell you tons about my family, but for brevity sake, I’ll tell you we’re unhealthy. For most, its weight, for some it’s smoking or drinking, and then there are those that hit the trifecta.
This weekend, while we lament lost loved ones over ribs and get re-acquainted in line at the taco truck (we really will have our own food trucks), there’s likely to be no mention of the 800 pound
cousin gorilla in the room. There’ll be no blood pressure checks and no talk of healthy changes. We’ll eat drink and be merry. It’ll be a party. After all, the next time we all get together it’ll be at one of our funerals.